What's love gotta do with it?

Love is patient, love is kind.

it does not envy,

it does not boast,

it is not proud.

it is not rude,

it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth

it always protects,

always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I’ve been thinking about this whole issue called ‘love’. Now, you may be thinking, boy, this guy’s either very late, or very early. Valentine’s not till February! Or maybe you may think I’m going to get all mushy with you, I’m not. Love is serious stuff. Really!

It’s a subject we guys don’t think enough of, I think – at least in the way it’s supposed to be. We guys are supposed to be tough, macho, and less ‘feeling-feeling’ than our counterpart of the opposite sex. Love and all its associations are to be consigned to the domain of women. And when we do think about it, it’s that bubbling feel-good emotion; the kind that we get when we first realise that we really, really, (I mean REALLY) like someone. Here’s how my wife described me when we first got together as boyfriend-girlfriend: like a lost puppy who suddenly sees his long-lost mother! Eyes all bright and happy! She had gone out, and I was waiting for her and when she got back, that was how (in her eyes at least) I looked like. I wouldn’t be surprised though. I still remember that feeling. And it was a very nice feeling. My wife has asked before me whatever happened to those puppy eyes. I said, gone with the wind. :-)

But, that’s just it, isn’t it? There lies the problem. We equate love with feelings. Don’t get me wrong. Having such feelings are great. I know it can make me feel over-the-moon, and if those feelings are reciprocated, boy, is there anything else better? But, the danger lies when we put everything about love behind those feelings. What happens when those feel-good feeling is gone? Does love go, too? It seems that way, at least from what I watch in movies, what I read in the papers, and what I see in the world. The rise of divorce, baby dumping, abuse, and on and on are perhaps the effects if this love-feeling culture. It seems that this kind of love is good, so long as I’m getting what I want.

But, there’s another different view of love. One which I think is infinitely more reliable and supersedes all others. It’s been said, but I think it can’t be overstated enough, especially when we are constantly bombarded with the popular (but erroneous, in my humble opinion) notion of love: love is an action, not a feeling. That’s from the Bible. I’ve read somewhere that feelings start you off; they are the passion, the spice in the relationship, but what’s supporting all this should be love, because when the feelings are gone, love should still be there. Love is all about the other person as we can read from the verses above; it's about doing acts that benefit the other fellow.

And love is a tough act to follow. There are times when I don’t like people very much, even those that are dear to me. But, I hope that I can still love them even when I don’t like them.

Love never fails.