Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Ve hav vays of making you tok

I don't know if you've read this before, but my colleague recently showed this article to me which I thought was absolutely hilarious. Thought I'd share it with all of you here. You'd have to read it aloud for the best effect. Enjoy!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that the English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yea people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find ti ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.



chegu carol said...

LOL! last2 ckp german style juga...

Ratu Syura said...

Haha!! That's funny cuz it's so true! I get annoyed getting msgs like that.. haishh!

Nick Phillips said...

ROTFL! I actually read that out loud and my colleagues thought I was losing it or something.

This reminds me of a video wifey showed me once. It has this ship in distress near Germany and they were putting our a mayday call which went like this:

Ship in ditress: Mayday, Mayday, we're sinking, we're sinking.

German rescue crew: And vat are u Zinking about?

I laughed my head off.

Perry said...

Ratu Syura and Nick: I thought whoever came up with this was so creative and funny!