Where has it gone?

Where has what gone you may ask?

Something known as "common courtesy". If you don't know what that is, then my point is proven: common courtesy isn't very common anymore. It refers to your etiquette, minding your Ps and Qs, and treating other people politely. But, increasingly I see this thing called courtesy becoming more and more uncommon.

A very common scenario: What do you do as you push open a door to enter or exit a building? As a lot of people are wont to do, they push open the door, walk through it, and let go of it - and in the process, smashing the swinging door right in the face of the poor soul who happens to be walking right behind them. How hard is it to just have a quick look behind you as you're opening the door, and if you see someone approaching, to hold the door open for them? It costs you nothing, and in return you may even get a thank you and a smile that's sure to warm you right up.

Another example, what do you do when someone kindly signals to you that they are giving you way to turn out from a junction? Increasingly, people just drive on without even so much as a glance at the person who offered the kind deed. Would it be so hard to just lift your hand and smile at the person for being so thoughtful as a means of thanks before driving off? I think not. If it hadn't been for him, you'd still be stuck where you were hoping for some break in the never-ending traffic.

I could go on but I think you can think of more examples yourself. I don't think any of us would like to live in a world where being polite and courteous had ceased to exist. That's why we need to

rock the boat
buck the trend
stop the rot.

Educate our young people on how to be polite and courteous. Don't just tell them, show them. After all, it's often said that action speaks louder than words.

The hardest words

What would you say is the hardest word or words to say that you've ever come across in English? And when I say hardest, I don't mean the most difficult to say in a given situation (the words "sorry", "thank you" and "please" come to mind). What I mean is the most difficult to produce by your tongue and mouth - the hardest to pronounce, the most laborious to produce. You may think of some tongue twisters like:

• Red lorry, yellow lorry; or
• Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
  A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
  If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
  How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?; or (try this one for size)
  
• The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick; or (if you're really good)
• The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick so six slick sheiks sold six sick sheep six silk sheets!

But, I'm veering off topic here. Anyway, I'm a teacher and a teacher, well, teaches things. And in my ten or so years of teaching, I'd say many things have astounded and bewildered me. But, year in, year out, one just keeps me amazed. I'd say one of the hardest words in the English language for my students to say are these:

"May I come in, please?"

If I'm assigned a Form 1 class to teach, then one of the very first things that I do with them is to get them accustomed to asking for permission to leave and enter the classroom in English. And boy, do some of them really struggle, especially with the coming in bit.

You'd think that it's simple - five words, not very hard to pronounce, quite easy to remember. But, a lot of my students have great difficulty in uttering those supposedly "simple" words. They'd get the structure all mixed up, or they'll leave out one of the words, or they'll mispronounce a word or two, or they'll even draw a blank even after I have repeated the question over and over.

I've tried almost everything that I can think of - breaking up the sentence into short phrases like "May I", followed by "come in", and then "please", and they are able to follow. But, when I ask them to repeat the question on their own they become lost again and the whole drill restarts. From my experience, this is usually a year-long affair - you have to keep reminding them, and keep them practising. They'll sometimes try to cop out and ask for permission to leave the classroom in Malay, but I insist that they ask me in English.

Now, I'm not complaining about my students nor am I condemning them. I'm just wondering what it is that has made them like that. Lack of stimulation? Lack of nutrition? Lack of proper training? Just five simple words to remember and repeat, but they can't.

It just baffles me.

Secured

I've seen the following on more than one occasion: a single adult driver in front driving the car. There's nothing unusual about that. We see lots of single occupancy vehicles on the road, in spite of the government's efforts to get the nation to carpool many years back.

But, the single adult driver is not my concern here. Too many times, it's the other person I see that makes me shake my head in amazement and wonder, "What is it about these people?". What am I talking about? It's that two or three year old kid who's standing on the front passenger seat beside the driver - that child who's not restrained in any sort of way. That child may as well be standing or sitting on the bonnet of the car for the kind of protection that he or she is getting in that manner.

For the life of me I can't seem to understand how parents can go round driving their vehicles all safe and buckled up while their children are standing beside them! Reminds me as well of the many times that I see motorcyclists (some of whom are parents as well, no doubt) who ride their bikes with their helmets on but the children who ride pillion go without any such protection!

What gives?

The first impression I get when I see something like this is that these parents obviously value their lives more than their children. How else do you explain such phenomena? The second is that such parents are probably ignorant, or just callous in matters of child safety in vehicles. Don't they know that if they only applied just a slight sudden pressure on those brakes and their child (or children) will go flying, smacking their fragile heads against the windscreen?

I'm no expert but any educated person can tell you the simple law of physics that an object will continue to be in motion unless there is a force in the opposite direction that stops it. That's why we buckle in front, and recently, buckle at the back as well - so we're not propelled and become paste in front of the car.

Children should be in restraints as well. But since, it will take some years for them to grow into the standard belts in the cars, baby carseats are the way to go to keep them safe while you're driving.

But, having said that, some of them can be quite unwieldy. Since Adelle was born, we've gone through two now. The first was a combination of a baby carrier and carseat for infants, the second was a proper carseat for when she was about a year old until about two. She has a third now, a booster seat which should last her till she's able to use the standard seat belts.

While the first two took less than 5 minutes to anchor to the backseat of the car (of course, the first time took longer) this current one is a real time-hogger. The first time I installed it in the backseat of my wife's car, it took me at least half an hour. By the end of it all, I was all sweaty. And since my wife recently sent her car in to install the middle lap belt in the backseat, that meant that the booster seat had to be taken away.

Just this evening, I attempted to reinstall the booster seat. To do it, you have to loop the car belt round the seat so that it is secure. I had trouble with this the first time I did, but this time it was not the same. It was worse!

The car seatbelt wouldn't give me enough leeway to loop round the booster seat, and try as I might, it just could be done. I enlisted my wife's help and we finally managed to secure everything after one hour! Just to install the seat!

Phew! I hope that seat doesn't need to be unsecured in a long while.

Stay safe.

Men and clothes

How often has this situation happened to you?

You open you closet, look at the neatly arranged lines of clothing hanging there and then you exclaim, "I have nothing to wear!"

I can't say it has happened to me very often, but the thing is it has happened. In spite of having a closet that at this moment is really, full of clothes, there are times when I cannot quite find the kind of attire that I had in mind to wear. A feature of wanton human greed?

Perhaps.

But, really although my closet is quite full, I'd say a good number of my clothes are over 2 years old. It's only when I decide to give away some, and find that I actually need some new ones to replace them that I buy new clothes for myself. But, of course there are spur of the moment kind of purchases - I'm sure you know the kind. :)

But, most of the time it's all about finding new ways of mixing and matching the clothes I already have. While I'm most comfortable in just shorts and t-shirt (even a singlet!), the times I do need to wear better-looking clothes are a daily requirement. So, I just found that this website provides some really helpful hints on choosing and matching your clothes (I'm talking men's clothes here, but I'm sure you can also find tips on women's clothing). It covers just about anything concerning men's clothing: from choosing your shirts and ties, choosing the kind of trousers (or pants if you insist on going American) to wear, to selecting suitable suits for those once-in-a-blue-moon kind of occassion, well at least for me. If that's not enough, then there are also guides on getting the right kind of accesories for yourself: you know, watches, sunglasses, hats, belts, shoes - those kind of stuff.

All in all, a very comprehensive place.

I haven't quite read all the guides they have available, but the little that I've read has opened my eyes: I now realise how much about dressing up I don't know! I would never have thought that the kind of collar of the shirt I wear should flatter my face! I always thought it was just their rather stylish way for the labels to be different. 

And I finally know what an inseam is! LOL!

Progress

I've told you before that Adelle is now attending playschool haven't I? Well, we never got a chance to have a chat with the principal of the school to find out how Adelle was doing. The routine's usually either my wife or I would show up at the school and just get out of the car, take Adelle from one of the teachers, and be on our home. We don't quite have the opportunity to just spend some time to chat then because all of the teachers and the principal herself would be busy keeping an eye on the children as they wait for their parents. I know I wouldn't have time too if I had take care of over 20 active children with only a handful of adults with me!

Anyway, my wife suggested that we call the principal today just to get some updates on Adelle's progress at school. And she happily volunteered me for the job. How nice of her! So, I called the principal and asked how Adelle was doing at school and she said that Adelle's progressed a lot since the first day - from crying every time she'd lay her foot on the school grounds right out of the car to the almost weep-free day nowadays. Adelle is eating well, she's learning well (quite advanced for her class I'm told), and is generally obedient.

But, I was also told that her temperament still needs some fine tuning. I didn't pursue what the principal meant by that but I can guess. I was also told that she isn't quite interested as well when it comes to colouring, probably a result of my wife and I introducing crayons to her quite early. But, the principal tells me that the teachers still try to keep her occupied and on task which I felt was good.

Adelle looks as if she enjoys school. When we pick her up, we'd ask her what she did and she'd respond quite positively. No more tantrums of not wanting to go to school. I think she is also rather fond of a particular Teacher Kevin there as she always mentions his name whenever there is talk about the teachers at the school.

I'm actually amazed sometimes at the knowledge that this two-year old daughter of mine has, especially in her language ability. I think some of the words and sentences she uses can even rival a kid far older than her.

But, that may be a biased opinion of course. After all, I'm her dad. :)

Bouncy, bouncy

Adelle’s discovered something new. Well, she actually chanced upon it yesterday. She was looking through my wife’s pencil case and she found a rubber (or eraser, whichever you prefer), and kids being kids, she threw it. Lo and behold! It bounced when it hit the floor. She was so intrigued by it that she kept taking it and throwing it, giggling throughout the process. Of course, this was great amusement to both Mommy and Daddy as well.

And in the early part of today, and sometime in the afternoon as well, she continued her ‘scientific’ study of the bouncing properties of that piece of rubber. She’s even discovered that throwing from a higher place will result in more bounce! How’s that for a little scientist?

Experiment in progress

The rubber in question

From my earlier post about Adelle learning phonics, we try to reinforce what she’s learned by sticking letters to the fridge. Every time mommy or Daddy or she takes a letter, either my wife or I’ll say the sound of the letter then she’ll follow soon enough. We’re also trying to teacher her the numbers 1 to 10. So far, she’s doing quite well with this. She can count, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 10!”.

It’s a start, isn’t it? :-)

"Now, is that a letter or a number...hmmm"

"Daddee!! Adelle clever girl!"

Me tired

Today’s been another tiring day. Guess my body is still trying to get used to the idea of coming home from school at 3 pm and not taking my usual afternoon nap. But at least the morning was a slight departure from the usual.

The English Panel of my school organised a spelling competition for all students today. There were no limits to the number of participants so we were quite encouraged by the number of participants. The competition was slightly different from the usual. Instead of a list of random words to spell, the students were given texts in which words would be taken from. This was an idea my colleague, Susan Graham, borrowed from somewhere and I liked it. I found this a more meaningful approach to the spelling competition as at the very least students would require to read as well as memorise words – two in one!

But then, there was a problem. Though we often hear of English as being a second language in Malaysia, but among my students, it might as well be an alien language. Broadly speaking, it does not feature at all in any part of their lives, apart of course from the English lessons they get at school. So because of this, they have the tendency to come up with their versions in pronouncing some words. So, what did we do to overcome this? We made recordings of the text! I was ‘volunteered’ to handle this, and so the recording, the editing and the creation of the audio cds were my responsibility.

So, in our effort, we upped the value of the spelling competition again. The students not only read and memorized words, they also listened to how they are sounded which would invariably (I hope) help them in some way. I remember my parents used to buy my brother and myself a lot of these read-along-with-the-cassette books (Ladybird used to do them, but I’m not sure if they still do), and I think they helped me a great deal in becoming a good reader; not only in how to sound the words I came across, but also on how to read a piece of text expressively. I think reading with expression is an art not many have learned, not even among teachers of the language.

Anyway, back to the competition. Today, I was Master Speller (the judge) for the upper forms (that’s 3, 4 and 5). I was suitably impressed by ability of the contestants in spelling ability. By the end of the second round, we still had more than half still running (participants were eliminated when they couldn’t spell the word within 30 seconds), but this soon dwindled until only two were left: a Form 5 girl, and a Form 3 girl. And for some time, it was a head-to-head fight.

Guess who won?

Running the race

Read the paper today? Anything that caught your fancy? There’s a kind of news that we see everyday in the paper that there’s a danger of us just glossing over it and hardly giving it a second thought. The kind of news? Crime news.

Every day we read of either a stabbing, a kidnapping, a rape, a robbery, a smuggling, a heist, a snatch theft, a shootout, a cheating, a corruption, a murder, a bribery, and so it goes. Has our society really gone so far down the moral ladder that we have come to accept such happenings as part of our life? Doesn’t it make you wonder where we have gone wrong?

Sure, we can put the blame on the usual suspects: the tv, music, the internet, bad company, yadda-yadda. But, have we looked closer to home? I personally feel that the family is largely to blame – rather the break-up of the family unit. Divorce rates are sky-rocketing, pre-marital sex is becoming more rampant (and with it unwanted pregnancies and unwanted children), and children are often left to their own devices while mommy and daddy work hard ‘for the family’. Marriage seems to have lost its lustre and meaning. Can children find stability in such an environment? Will such an environment enable children to face and shun the many enticing temptations that will come their way as they grow older?

I see the effects of growing up in such an environment in the lives of my students in school. They often skip school, and when they do come, they look scruffy, in un-ironed uniforms, uncombed hair, and without any motivation to study. Not all fit this bill though. Some look well groomed. But, always, always, they have problems with their attendance and they are far behind in their studies.

I shudder to think what the country will be like if more and more of these unguided children should grow up to be adults with similar dispositions.

Just last Sunday at church, a friend shared how important the family is. He said the family is the only place where the child must receive unconditional love, because the world at large is strictly conditional. Wise words, when I think about it. Home should be the primary source for values, and where the child can turn to for encouragement and love without hesitation.

I’m thinking about this because Adelle is picking up things so quickly! Anything that you say or do, she’ll mimic very quickly. And she has no capacity to filter the good from the bad! That’s the worry. So, we try to be careful of our speech and behaviour, and try to be consistent in both our training and disciplining of Adelle and pray that she'll move in the right direction.

So, to myself, my wife and all parents, let’s run with endurance the race that is set before us.

Adelle praying with daddy before dinner

Dee-Gee-Tuhl Photography Bootcamp here in KK!

An exciting announcement to all lovers of photography out there! Just in case you haven’t got wind of this event yet, Nexus Karambunai Resort is organizing a workshop run by none other than our very own Sabahan, award-winning photographer, Louis Pang. Saw it in last Friday’s Daily Express only today, and thought I’d put it up since I did not see any mention of it in his blog.

It's a fee-paying workshop though unlike his previous half-day workshop at STAR. But, there are several packages on offer. If you choose to stay at Nexus, you'll pay RM360 which includes registration fee, lunch and dinner and a single night's stay (twin-sharing basis). Of course, if you want to stay alone, you can but it'll put you back RM560.

Don't want to stay? You pay RM195 which gives you lunch and dinner, and includes the registration fee. The cheapest option (and probably the most popular, methinks), minus all the fluff, is just paying for the registration which is RM80.

What's more, there'll also be a photo shootout! And there'll be prizes to be won if your photo's good enough.

It says in the registration form that you need to bring a laptop with Photoshop cos you'll be editing your photos and printing them there and then, both of which I don't have... :-(

But, I'm thinking of going...who wants to accompany me and share your laptop with me???

This is where you can download the brochure and registration forms.

The snake is in the grass...

Nah, we didn't meet any snakes today. That's a line taken from a song - for children. And it's not even a proper children's song, it's a teaching song. The objective? To teach the sound of the letter 'S'. You know it...sssssss.

Yes, I'm talking phonics lessons here. Adelle attended her second class of phonics today (her first was last Saturday), and this time around only Daddy was around to keep her company cos Mommy had to be around in school. But, hey, Mommy's school wasjust outside the class gates! No worries in the case of emergencies.

Anyway, I was just wondering about this phonics thing. Phonics is to help children acquire reading ability; to be able to decipher letters and to say out their sounds correctly. So, when, for example, you see the letter 'M', you make the sound, mmmm, and when you see the letter 'A' you say 'eh', so on and so forth. But, here's the thing. I don't ever remember going through a single phonics class. And I read quite well (at least, I think I do!).

Sure, I've made mistakes before. How many of us have said the words 'tongue' as tong-gew, 'mosque' as mos-cue and the absolute classic, 'discotheque' as disco-the-cue, until we realised or people told us that we actually said them wrongly. But, the point is I picked up reading without any such specialised teaching. Perhaps it was because my parents used to buy lots of audio story books, and as we followed the words in the books we heard the words being spoken and so, without realising it, picked up how certain letters should be pronounced.

So, I'm thinking, is there a need for such lessons at all if parents already read to their children? What do you think? How did you learn how to read?

Adelle playing after lessons had ended