This is one has been sitting on the boiler for some time but I thought this is a good time as any to talk about it.
I'm not sure what it is about Sabah and building naming, but there seems to be a tremendous dearth of creativity among the developers here. Originality is something I find sorely lacking here.
Take for example this building called the KK Times Square. You'll find a building with a similar name in Kuala Lumpur, the Berjaya Times Square. We will also have a Megamall here (though it's still in progress), just like the more illustrious one in KL as well. And Putrajaya? Well, we have a Putera Jaya here. We even have a Bandar Utama (of course, that's in Sandakan...but still)!
But, the lack of creativity doesn't just stop at names of places. It extends to road names as well. Take for example this hilarious excuse for a road name - Muntahan ('vomit' in English). Well, a road with a name like that is rather sad, but imagine having a few of them (Muntahan 1, Muntahan 2, Muntahan 3, etc.). Sounds like a really bad series of sequels to an equally terrible horror flick.
And the un-originality (is there even such a word?) of the road naming doesn't end there. There's a district in Sabah called Penampang, and one of it's major towns is called Donggongon. And guess what the name of the road that runs through this town is called? The 'Road in front of Donggongon Town'. Exact words, no kidding! And we also have the 'Access Road to Family Planning Centre', which leads you to (yep, you guessed it!) the Family Planning Centre.
With all these howlers for road names, I hope someone high up in the Public Works Department will elect somebody with at least a minute spark of creativity to helm the road naming committee, so that we'd get at least more 'normal' names.
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Friday, May 22, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Another one of those days
Remember the incident where I locked myself out? Well, it happened again today. The whole situation wasn't exactly the same as the last time, different place, different door, different circumstances, but the bottom line is that I was just that: locked out again.
Well, it all started when Adelle and I decided to leave the bedroom after having an afternoon nap (more me rather than Adelle, actually), and Adelle was first at the door. I asked her to wait for me and I followed and holding the door knob, I closed it. Come to think of it, I don't quite remember whether it was me or Adelle who closed the door, but in any case, the bedroom door was closed and we both went downstairs. We said hi to my wife who was downstairs just finishing her noodles. Not long after that, my wife decided to go upstairs for a shower (it had been a very hot day) and it was then that we realised that the unthinkable had happened: the bedroom door was locked and we were locked out of it!
My immediate thoughts were: here we go again.
Since it is generally the responsibility of the man to get such things sorted out, I was in charge of finding the means to get that door open. No problem, right? With the availability of the World Wide Web, you can find and learn just about anything there is to learn right? So, I googled how to pick a lock, and I was rubbing my hands in glee when there were so many hits! With video tutorials even! What luck, I thought.
Since I had neither the tools nor the expertise to pick locks, I searched for videos that specifically used home items, and with clear instructions. It seems that, minus the actually lock-picking tools, the tool of choice for picking locks is the paper clip. Then, as I watched each video, one thing especially became awfully clear: that many of the people giving the tutorials were children! These 10-15 year olds were picking locks like a fish swims in water. I watched in utter amazement as these young people dazzled me with their lock-picking skills on just about anything: padlocks, doors, and even deadbolts! (Scary stuff!)
Ha, I thought, it's kid's play then, child stuff. I'm an adult, and so therefore am more than capable to do something even children can do. No problem. I'll get that door opened in no time.
Or so I thought.
I earnestly started my quest to unlock the bedroom door at about 7.30 pm. After numerous attempts (and more than a few mangled paper clips), I finally got the door opened slightly past 9 pm. And just in case you want to contact me and ask how I did I do it with just paper clips, well, don't bother. Because they never did work.
I used a shoe.
Well, it all started when Adelle and I decided to leave the bedroom after having an afternoon nap (more me rather than Adelle, actually), and Adelle was first at the door. I asked her to wait for me and I followed and holding the door knob, I closed it. Come to think of it, I don't quite remember whether it was me or Adelle who closed the door, but in any case, the bedroom door was closed and we both went downstairs. We said hi to my wife who was downstairs just finishing her noodles. Not long after that, my wife decided to go upstairs for a shower (it had been a very hot day) and it was then that we realised that the unthinkable had happened: the bedroom door was locked and we were locked out of it!
My immediate thoughts were: here we go again.
Since it is generally the responsibility of the man to get such things sorted out, I was in charge of finding the means to get that door open. No problem, right? With the availability of the World Wide Web, you can find and learn just about anything there is to learn right? So, I googled how to pick a lock, and I was rubbing my hands in glee when there were so many hits! With video tutorials even! What luck, I thought.
Since I had neither the tools nor the expertise to pick locks, I searched for videos that specifically used home items, and with clear instructions. It seems that, minus the actually lock-picking tools, the tool of choice for picking locks is the paper clip. Then, as I watched each video, one thing especially became awfully clear: that many of the people giving the tutorials were children! These 10-15 year olds were picking locks like a fish swims in water. I watched in utter amazement as these young people dazzled me with their lock-picking skills on just about anything: padlocks, doors, and even deadbolts! (Scary stuff!)
Ha, I thought, it's kid's play then, child stuff. I'm an adult, and so therefore am more than capable to do something even children can do. No problem. I'll get that door opened in no time.
Or so I thought.
I earnestly started my quest to unlock the bedroom door at about 7.30 pm. After numerous attempts (and more than a few mangled paper clips), I finally got the door opened slightly past 9 pm. And just in case you want to contact me and ask how I did I do it with just paper clips, well, don't bother. Because they never did work.
I used a shoe.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
It's just one of those days
Guess what?
I was locked out of the house today. In case you're wondering, no, my wife and I didn't have a fight. Rather, the whole thing started from a pile of dirty laundry. There we were, lazing in bed on an early Sunday morning (it was just past 6 am). Adelle was already up and was actively trying to get both my wife and I involved in her games. Then, wife says that we should put in the pile of dirty clothes into the washing machine so that we'd be in time to hang them up before going to church.
Being the dutiful husband that I am, I groggily got up from the bed, went downstairs, picked up the heap of smelly clothes and proceeded to put them into the washing machine. So, I opened the door to the side of the house (that's where the washing machine is placed), stuffed the clothes into the machine and started the wash cycle. Now, at the same time I was doing all this, the door decided to close on me. But, I hardly took notice of it. Satisfied that the clothes were in the good care of the machine, I turned back to go inside and turned the door knob.
It was locked.
I turned it again, just in case the knob was stuck or something. Still, it didn't budge. No matter I thought, I'll just knock. My wife would surely hear the knocking. After all, it was still early in the day, and the whole neighbourhood was still relatively quiet.
So I knocked. No response. I knocked again, harder this time. Still no response. I knocked harder still. Again, no response. I could hear Adelle squealing in the room upstairs, but as far as my wife was concerned, there was no response. So I went to the back of the house and started knocking on the back kitchen door. I looked at the time. It was 6.20 am. After a few minutes of knocking without receiving any sort of response, I stopped and went back to the side of the house. You might be wondering why I didn't go to the front of the house and just shout out to my wife. I wished I could, but we have a grille door that blocks the side walkway that links to the front part of the house. And I didn't have the key.
So, back to the side of the house it was. I knocked again, hoping this time that my wife would hear me since it was quiet then. No luck. I overturned a big pail and sat on it, thinking. Then I saw the piping that connects to the toilets upstairs. And in front of me, leaning against the wall were several chrome-plated bars that we had wanted to use as curtain rails but never did. An idea formed in my head. I could use the bars to knock on the piping. Since the piping would amplify the sound of the knocking, my wife would surely hear it. And what better knocking sound than the SOS - three quick taps, followed by three slow taps and ending with another three quick taps. Perfect! I was quite pleased with my self for thinking of such an ingenuous idea. So, I eagerly took the bar, raised it above my head and knocked it on the piping.
Tingtingting, ting-ting-ting, tingtingting.
I did this several times. But after each time, my good spirits slowly stated deserting me. Still, there was no response.
The next hour saw me doing either one of three things: sitting, knocking on the door, or tapping the pipes with the bar. When the washing cycle was finally done, I hung out the clothes to dry. Just then, my neighbour came out of her house. I said hi, and asked if I could borrow her phone. I quickly explained my predicament but leaving out the detail that I had been stuck out there for a long time. As it is, it was already an embarassing situation for me and to give her that extra bit of detail would have forever put me in her long-term memory filed under dimwits. She laughed as she passed me the phone.
Oh well, the embarrassment was more than worth it - my wife opened the door and I was inside my house again! When I was finally inside I looked at the clock. It was 8.40 am. My entire ordeal had lasted more than two hours!
Later in the day, I asked my wife if she heard any knocking. She said she did. Then I asked her, wasn't she curious that there was this incessant knocking that was going on? Her reply - she thought that it was the neighbour's kids who were up to some mischief as they are wont to do. She said she was actually irritated because it woke Adelle up. Then I asked her again, didn't she find it odd that the knocking was in the form of an SOS. Her reply - what's that?
What a way to start the day!
I was locked out of the house today. In case you're wondering, no, my wife and I didn't have a fight. Rather, the whole thing started from a pile of dirty laundry. There we were, lazing in bed on an early Sunday morning (it was just past 6 am). Adelle was already up and was actively trying to get both my wife and I involved in her games. Then, wife says that we should put in the pile of dirty clothes into the washing machine so that we'd be in time to hang them up before going to church.
Being the dutiful husband that I am, I groggily got up from the bed, went downstairs, picked up the heap of smelly clothes and proceeded to put them into the washing machine. So, I opened the door to the side of the house (that's where the washing machine is placed), stuffed the clothes into the machine and started the wash cycle. Now, at the same time I was doing all this, the door decided to close on me. But, I hardly took notice of it. Satisfied that the clothes were in the good care of the machine, I turned back to go inside and turned the door knob.
It was locked.
I turned it again, just in case the knob was stuck or something. Still, it didn't budge. No matter I thought, I'll just knock. My wife would surely hear the knocking. After all, it was still early in the day, and the whole neighbourhood was still relatively quiet.
So I knocked. No response. I knocked again, harder this time. Still no response. I knocked harder still. Again, no response. I could hear Adelle squealing in the room upstairs, but as far as my wife was concerned, there was no response. So I went to the back of the house and started knocking on the back kitchen door. I looked at the time. It was 6.20 am. After a few minutes of knocking without receiving any sort of response, I stopped and went back to the side of the house. You might be wondering why I didn't go to the front of the house and just shout out to my wife. I wished I could, but we have a grille door that blocks the side walkway that links to the front part of the house. And I didn't have the key.
So, back to the side of the house it was. I knocked again, hoping this time that my wife would hear me since it was quiet then. No luck. I overturned a big pail and sat on it, thinking. Then I saw the piping that connects to the toilets upstairs. And in front of me, leaning against the wall were several chrome-plated bars that we had wanted to use as curtain rails but never did. An idea formed in my head. I could use the bars to knock on the piping. Since the piping would amplify the sound of the knocking, my wife would surely hear it. And what better knocking sound than the SOS - three quick taps, followed by three slow taps and ending with another three quick taps. Perfect! I was quite pleased with my self for thinking of such an ingenuous idea. So, I eagerly took the bar, raised it above my head and knocked it on the piping.
Tingtingting, ting-ting-ting, tingtingting.
I did this several times. But after each time, my good spirits slowly stated deserting me. Still, there was no response.
The next hour saw me doing either one of three things: sitting, knocking on the door, or tapping the pipes with the bar. When the washing cycle was finally done, I hung out the clothes to dry. Just then, my neighbour came out of her house. I said hi, and asked if I could borrow her phone. I quickly explained my predicament but leaving out the detail that I had been stuck out there for a long time. As it is, it was already an embarassing situation for me and to give her that extra bit of detail would have forever put me in her long-term memory filed under dimwits. She laughed as she passed me the phone.
Oh well, the embarrassment was more than worth it - my wife opened the door and I was inside my house again! When I was finally inside I looked at the clock. It was 8.40 am. My entire ordeal had lasted more than two hours!
Later in the day, I asked my wife if she heard any knocking. She said she did. Then I asked her, wasn't she curious that there was this incessant knocking that was going on? Her reply - she thought that it was the neighbour's kids who were up to some mischief as they are wont to do. She said she was actually irritated because it woke Adelle up. Then I asked her again, didn't she find it odd that the knocking was in the form of an SOS. Her reply - what's that?
What a way to start the day!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I was going to do something else but I suddenly remembered about a funny incident. This actually happened last Sunday but I was contemplating whether to post it. Then I thought, why not. It's kinda funny (I think). Remember my post about us buying mooncake? Well, Adelle had her first taste of it last Sunday. We were all in the kitchen and my wife suddenly decided to let Adelle try the mooncake we had bought. She asked me to get my camera ready to capture Adelle's expression of her first taste of mooncake.
We gave here just a bit to try and did she love it! When my wife asked Adelle to share the mooncake, she turned her back on her! And Adelle actually stood up and went further away! So funny! So, anyway here are the pics!
We gave here just a bit to try and did she love it! When my wife asked Adelle to share the mooncake, she turned her back on her! And Adelle actually stood up and went further away! So funny! So, anyway here are the pics!
Ve hav vays of making you tok
I don't know if you've read this before, but my colleague recently showed this article to me which I thought was absolutely hilarious. Thought I'd share it with all of you here. You'd have to read it aloud for the best effect. Enjoy!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that the English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yea people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find ti ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
ROFL!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that the English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yea people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find ti ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
ROFL!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
